just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
