I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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