Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
