I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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