were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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