i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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