gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
