I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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