After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
