Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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