I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
