I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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