i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
