She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
