I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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