I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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