Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
