fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
