i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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