You really coming over, don't trick.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
