...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
