sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
