I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
