i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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