I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
