I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
