So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
