If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
