I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
