they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
