Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
