I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I deserve this hangover.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
