his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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