So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
