Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
