wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's even glitter on my cock...
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