I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
