I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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