I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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