Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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