Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
