I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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