Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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