Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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