from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize