Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize