I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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