Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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