I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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