Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
