I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize