I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
