Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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