I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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