Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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