Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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