so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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