I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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