Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize