i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Quick, to the slutcave!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize