I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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