If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
