he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
