Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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