I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
